The Club
Hey you,
I know you think you know a lot about your body and pregnancy. Hell, you’ve been living in that body for over 30 years and have friends with babies. What’s not to know?! HAHAHA
Here are just a few things I wish someone would have told you by now:
Perinatal depression is a thing! It’s not just postpartum and it’s not your fault.
Postpartum depression doesn’t necessarily mean you want to hurt yourself or your child. Don’t try to hide it or lie about it for fear of having your child taken away. Ask for help.
You know that discharge you sometimes get that seems totally random? It isn’t! You’re ovulating! When you eventually learn this you’ll be horrified that you didn’t know it sooner.
Your breasts and nipples will never be the same. Enjoy them now.
Pregnancy isn’t really what you see on social media. You won’t look like you swallowed a basketball and you might not enjoy it. That’s okay. Disliking pregnancy is not a reflection on your feelings towards your child.
The first poop after childbirth is worse than childbirth. Skip the stool softener and go straight for the hard stuff. The hemorrhoids will haunt you forever.
You can’t plan childbirth or will your child onto a schedule*, at least not at the beginning. Resign yourself to it now and just be.
Go easy on yourself.
You can’t fit your baby’s whole face in your mouth, even though you want to.
A lot of women miscarry. A lot of women you know have had miscarriages, you just don’t know it yet.
*When the times right though, definitely sleep train. Just do it and you’ll never look back
Pacifiers, formula, strollers, baby carriers, bottles, boobs, and car seats are all beautiful creations that save lives - both emotionally and physically.
Don’t let anyone tell you that there’s a right or wrong way to feed your child.
You’re going to look back at things you said to parents before you were one and you’re going to feel like a real asshole.
You actually do have some maternal instincts and intuitions, but you need to learn to trust yourself and listen to them.
You will sometimes need to stop yourself from squeezing your kids too hard because you just love them so much.
Don’t try to watch The Sopranos or The Handmaid’s Tale when you’re postpartum. Swallow your pride and binge Gilmore Girls.
These all seem so obvious to you now. By now you’ve met so many incredible women who share these experiences, but at first you were alone. You’re not alone anymore. Keeping the information only for people who have joined “the club” doesn’t serve anyone. It definitely didn’t serve you.
Please remember to be honest.