Pilot Pete is Still Alive

Dear 30-year-old Carrie, 

Dad is still alive. I know right now it doesn’t feel that way but he did not die tonight. He was confused with what number comes after 20 - is it 19 or 21? - and got a bit lost getting out of the subway. It’s okay that you feel like your world has collapsed. A lot is going to change in the next five years but please don’t forget - dad is still alive. 

Being away at a work conference right now is tough and I know you can’t keep it together crying at a team dinner, not sleeping, moping around. All you can think about is dad will never be able to meet my children (will I have children?!?) and will never be able to walk me down the aisle (is this boyfriend THE ONE?!?). 

Five years from now may look different from what you imagined but dad will be there to meet your child, hold his little body and compare it to the size of a challah. As your son grows up he will learn a word for each word dad forgets. They will have a special bond that you don’t need many words for - making silly faces at each other, sharing apple bites, listening to Peter, Paul and Mary. Each part of dad that slowly fades away comes back to life in your son and you will be so happy to live in a house where he can watch airplanes all day just like his grandpa, the original Pilot Pete. 

So I know right now it feels like dad is gone. But you should call him on the phone and complain about politics, discuss that promotion you want, talk about that boyfriend (spoiler alert: he becomes your husband). The days of him using his words to communicate are limited but please don’t forget - dad is still alive. 

35-year-old Carrie