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B—

It’s okay to get help. You don’t need to wait for something catastrophic to happen. You don’t need to be suicidal to “qualify” as depressed and you shouldn’t wait until that point to talk to someone about it.  

Your feelings are valid. It’s not bad to cry. It’s okay to have big feelings, no matter what your family tells you. It’s okay they don’t understand; you can’t make them. Don’t let them stop you or stifle your big feelings—use them to make big changes. Please know your acceptance of yourself is the only one you really need. 

It’s okay that your parents can't help you. Other people can. You can trust them.

You won’t know if you need to be medicated for your depression unless you see someone about it. It’s okay if you do need to be medicated, and it’s okay if you and a doctor don’t get it right the first, second, or sixth time. You can figure it out together. Don't worry about losing your creative edge; addressing your depression and anxiety will free up your mind in new ways. You don’t need to languish in those feelings just to be an “interesting” person—you are already an interesting person.

Therapy will challenge you and change you. You had the right instinct to go all those years ago. It doesn’t matter why your parents said you couldn’t go. Start now, as soon as you can. The insights you gather and tools you learn will help you navigate your relationships in a much healthier way that’s better for you. It will give you the power to see people on a much deeper level, gaining a better understanding of them and yourself. You don’t have to forgive anyone if you’re not ready. You don’t need to be nice just to be a “good daughter.” You don’t need to keep waiting for apologies that will never come; you can start healing without them.

Stand up for yourself. Trust yourself. Take care of yourself. Don’t worry about everyone else for once. 

Love, 

Me